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Being Bi

For LGBT History Month one of our staff members tells us about her experience of being Bisexual, in this week’s blog post:

 

Growing up in Manchester with a large and active gay community, I very much embraced that side of myself and was made to feel very comfortable. I was Chair of the Equal Opportunities Committee at work and was openly gay. Things got difficult however when I realised that I was still attracted to men too. I was confused – bisexuality was hardly acknowledged at that time and I felt almost ashamed of my attraction to both sexes. Magazines such as Diva catered for lesbians/gay women but there was nothing for those who identified as bi. Social media didn’t even exist at this time!

 

All was well whilst I had a female partner, but when this relationship ended and I met a man with whom I fell in love, my friends were as confused as I was. It was as if I had let down the whole gay community, or so it felt.

 

I was embarrassed to admit I was with a man; as if I had “sold out” by becoming “mainstream”, especially when I eventually married him and had children. My life couldn’t have become more “straight”.

 

I am however still attracted to women. I believe in attraction being with the person, not the gender. I have accepted this in myself, and with this acceptance, I have found others who feel the same. I am open about my previous relationships with women and, although the anxiety of being truthful is still great, I have been generally pleasantly surprised by people’s reactions. That isn’t to say that I never get a negative reaction, but it is more curiosity than anything. By being true to myself, I have discovered an inner confidence in who I am, that doesn’t have to excuse myself for being me. I have been open with both my children and they have found the courage to be themselves too – as it happens, both of them identify as bi.

 

So I guess my message is to be true to yourself, whoever you find yourself to be.  And find your tribe. They are out there, if you can be honest enough to be who you are.

 

 

Author: Nicholas
Posted on: 9th February 2021

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