We are delighted to have received this submission from Hollis on the topic of ‘Resilience’. Here is what Hollis had to say:
In an ideal world this would not be needed or if it was would be an insignificant skill. These days it’s getting more of a skill than a natural process, in everyday life for all. I would say its definition is Emotional Stamina.
Within this definition is, Cause, Effect and Recovery.
Physically if your shoulder is pressed constantly for a long period of time in one area, that area of your body will grow thicker skin to numb the pain the prodding is causing. Resilience is the skin of your emotions.
Resilience is needed when there is an unwanted or unexpected outcome to any given situation. This may include misfortune, hurt, loss, bereavement which is unfortunately caused by situations in everyday life. Lies, deception, betrayal, loss of any kind, accidental, natural or acts purposely carried out. The list is endless.
The ability to function and get on with the day to day without too much of change to one’s behaviour, takes resilience. Coping by reflecting, accepting, understanding and working through any of the given emotions that these unfortunate situations cause. Keeping a stable and rational outlook in all aspects of life to the point where you’re in a more satisfying and stable state of mind.
Resilience is needed when there is an unwanted or unexpected outcome to any given situation.
There are many ways to aid the process. For example, Meditation, Mindfulness, Spiritual Practices CBT, DPT and other behavioural and talking therapies. Physical activities of any kind, dietary aids to enhance the body’s natural chemicals, and of course support and advice from family, friends and services. Emotional release by physical or vocal means. Creative activities, art and craft and such like. Also comfort responses which just feel good, within reason.
All mentioned in many ways will benefit most individuals, if a balance is maintained.
As well as the positive impact the above can have on one’s life, it can also lead to dependency or addiction. It is sensible to be wary about those that can grow into a dependent vice. Substance misuse is not pleasant for yourself or those around you.
These examples may not solve the issue, but will help the internal process in ways of venting, Brain Chemistry, Physical Health and Spiritual Growth. Allowing you to tackle a very difficult task from a good stand point and state of mind, can also help maintain a positive and empathic attitude, contributing to the learning needed to prepare one’s self for unfortunately unpreventable situations.
There are many ways to aid the process. For example, Meditation, Mindfulness, Spiritual Practices CBT, DPT and other behavioural and talking therapies.
Clarity and peace of mind, even closure or just acceptance, may be the aim for most. Understanding why situation accrued in the first place is a major element, which begins me to another less pleasant cause, malicious intent; this is a situation where hurt/pain is caused just for that reason.
So finding justification for the action is difficult, finding closure and understanding is very hard. With all the learning and understanding gathered, getting to a point where all is good again, or close to, is almost impossible. How you see life’s experiences is important, and comes down to if you believe in fate, coincidence or planned events. Each situation is different and identifying which is which, is a personal choice.
Within my own personal experience, I have seen a very mixed bag of reasons and causes and reactions. Thinking of the present and here and now they are not important, but looking to the future and where you would like to be, they are very significant.
We would like to thank Hollis for this piece, if you would like to submit a blog for our website, please email [email protected]. If you would like support building your resilience, we welcome you to fill out a support form at the top of this page, access our FREE Living Well Courses or try online CBT with Silvercloud.
Posted on: 1st June 2020