Self Love

We are delighted to have received this submission from Katie on the topic of ‘Self Love’. Here is what Katie had to say:

Self love! We hear the term a lot but what does it actually mean?

For someone like myself who struggles with mental health issues it doesn’t sit comfortably.

The idea of walking around with the words “I love myself, aren’t I amazing” floating around my head are against all that my self image stands for. But since starting my therapy (I’m about 12 sessions in now) for issues relating to domestic violence and abuse back to my childhood, I am learning that, to some extent, is what you have to do and by that I don’t mean becoming big headed and full of yourself but I mean being kinder to yourself. I have learnt, at my own cost sadly, that if you don’t love yourself then you won’t let other people love you either.

Another way of looking at self love that I have found is to think of it as self protection. Before I started my therapy I wanted the whole world to love me, now it’s not something that appeals to me. I was looking in all the wrong places for the answers, e.g. Facebook. Although there’s nothing wrong with Facebook it wasn’t the answer to what I needed.

I wondered where God was – why had he deserted me? I felt an inner emptiness where I felt he should be. 

For about 30 years I never put a Christmas tree up or took much interest in cards because I didn’t think that god loved me and that included me.


If you don’t love yourself then you won’t let other people love you either.


It wasn’t until I looked on the internet about my inner emptiness that I realised the reason I felt so empty was because I didn’t love myself in the way I would love other people.

I have developed a system now that when I get up in the morning I give myself a tick, have breakfast another tick, shower tick and so on throughout the day, as well as doing my CBT [Cognitive Behavioural Therapy] when I need it.

I’ve also been painting to express myself just for me, as well as writing and reading and I have realised that to find out who you are and to grow, you need to spend some time alone; maybe meditating.

I have a long way to go in my therapy, months, possibly even years but I feel more centred and have a better understanding of self love. 

So if you see me wandering around talking to myself, it’s not because I’ve lost the plot but I’m probably just telling myself I’m a nice person. What you think really will impact on how you feel, it won’t happen overnight but you’ll start loving yourself more like I am.


We would like to thank Katie for this piece, if you would like to submit a blog for our website, please email [email protected]

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Posted on: 6th July 2020